Anyhow, their most notable releases include "Parasite City" and "Sweet Onion o' Mine". COWBELL They briefly added Borat Sagdiyev as keyboardist, but decided that his style just didn't work for the band. Motley Crue began when all members were assembled: Slash, Gypsy kazoo virtuoso Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagan (remarkably, also the only human to survive without a pancreas or liver), and the renowned Transvestite Opera composer, Steven Adler of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame. Soon the call went out across America to find new bandmates and fag ass lovers. Desperate, broken-hearted, and faced with chronic Compulsive Masturbation Disorder, Axl soon found a new means of expression when he met that guy. Rose decided to venture out into the world in search of fame and fortune.
After graduating with a major in Aeronautic Engineering, he and Cobain bid a teary, steamy, passionate farewell. After school Axl used to molest kids until 3:55 pm to be home in time for Blockbusters.Īfter a large amount of pleading from their son, Axl(dick)'s parents decided to continue to live in Amsterdam until his graduation.
According to rumor, the pair met on a lunch period after a particularly potent mushroom soup from the school cafeteria. Rose was also a victim of sexual abuse by his little sister, a fuel which was to inspire the angsty, emotional and often sentimental lyrics of his later career.įollowing his family's relocation to Amsterdam (house of prostitutes), Rose(dick) attended the prestigious Failure University, where he was to meet his lifelong friend, Kurt Cobain. His father, Colonel Sanders, was an important figure in the world of prostitution and as a result, the family was often relocating to various locations around the world. Axl's voice of disease is only 2nd to Mariah Carey's, whose voice gives instant death. His voice is so painful to the ears that rumors say, when heard up close it can give you AIDS. Axl has also been known to program Kurt Cobain's voice box. He is merely the assistant of Guns N' Roses' real singer Kurt Cobain. Due to popular belief, Axl Rose is not the lead singer for Guns N' Roses. The crap was too strong and he lost all his smarts and decided to become a rockstar again. Im sure he knows what that means.) Anyway, Axl graduated from Harvard then got crapped on by a flying carabao. Axl then decided to continue his studies cause living a life of rock n roll and drugs was as he called it "bad" (tss. He was born with A.D.D and mild amnesia, which later caused the eventual breakup of Guns N' Roses when Slash played a solo and Axl said, "Who the hell are you?!". His sister worked two jobs as an amateur pornstar and elementary school teacher. Laboratory proof of this is David Bowie's early career vocals. Later it was found out that he was the result of casual sex between David Bowie and Amy Rose (Axl's mommy), who at the time was working as Bowie's fashion councilor, secretary, and oral relief buddy. Axl is also an incredible alcoholic, famously being pulled over a hedge backwards by Ozzy in a bid to get him back on track.Īxl Rose(dick)(born Oral Sex) was born in 1932 in Edinburgh, Texas. He refuses to go anywhere without either his straight, ripped up jeans or his dumbass Metallica shorts and his asshole wife-beater. As of the first of September 2010, he owes 10,000 pissed off Irish fans over €70 in refunds for a shit show in which he showed up an hour late and stormed off after 20 minutes.Īxl Rose is an extreme head-covering enthusiast, owning 8564 stupid flat-rimmed hats and every bandana in the world. When he is calm and rational, he is rather boring, but whenever he starts a riot or fires a band member, a bunch of stupid 13-year-olds who play too much Guitar Hero start laughing and buy a bunch of his records, even though they sound like good music. However, how funny he is usually relative by how much of a dick head he is being at any moment. William Axl is possibly the funniest ginger who ever walked the planet. William "Axl" Rose has been the leader of Guns 'N Roses for over 50 years.
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